They didn’t deserve posts of their own, okay? That’s why I’m sticking these two together. They have nothing in common except that they’re both written in English and they’re both terrible, and I am SO DONE thinking about either of them.

The Lost Story by Meg Shaffer
Genres: Adult, Fantasy, Portal Fantasy, Queer Protagonists
Representation: M/M, asexual MC
ISBN: 0593598881
Goodreads

Inspired by C. S. Lewis’s The Chronicles of Narnia, this wild and wondrous novel is a fairy tale for grown-ups who still knock on the back of wardrobes—just in case—from the author of The Wishing Game.

As boys, best friends Jeremy Cox and Rafe Howell went missing in a vast West Virginia state forest, only to mysteriously reappear six months later with no explanation for where they’d gone or how they’d survived.

Fifteen years after their miraculous homecoming, Rafe is a reclusive artist who still bears scars inside and out but has no memory of what happened during those months. Meanwhile, Jeremy has become a famed missing persons’ investigator. With his uncanny abilities, he is the one person who can help vet tech Emilie Wendell find her sister, who vanished in the very same forest as Rafe and Jeremy.

Jeremy alone knows the fantastical truth about the disappearances, for while the rest of the world was searching for them, the two missing boys were in a magical realm filled with impossible beauty and terrible danger. He believes it is there that they will find Emilie’s sister. However, Jeremy has kept Rafe in the dark since their return for his own inscrutable reasons. But the time for burying secrets comes to an end as the quest for Emilie’s sister begins. The former lost boys must confront their shared past, no matter how traumatic the memories.

Alongside the headstrong Emilie, Rafe and Jeremy must return to the enchanted world they called home for six months—for only then can they get back everything and everyone they’ve lost.

I received this book for free from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.

I remember when everyone in the SFF book space was Very Upset with Kazuo Ishiguro back when his novel Buried Giant came out, and he was worried about it being taken for Fantasy when it was not. This was taken as an insult to SFF, if I understood correctly. Even Ursula Le Guin was mad! (You can read a summary of events, including Ishiguro’s insistence that actually he didn’t mean it that way at all, with links to everything over here.)

What I remember most clearly, though, are the conversations that sprung up in my corner of the SFF world. There was a lot of scorn for and resentment towards Literary Fic authors using SFF ‘toys’ without caring about them, without knowing how they worked, without committing to writing SFF. I remember not really understanding what that meant.

Well, I get it now. Because The Lost Story reads exactly like it was written by someone who has never read a Fantasy novel before, and has no interest in doing so, writing for people who have never read Fantasy before, and don’t want to.

Does that make sense? Because I don’t know how else to explain it. I’ve read plenty of Fantasy that didn’t have a lot of worldbuilding, or had worldbuilding that I thought was poorly done, and I don’t think that’s the problem here. Lost Story feels…it feels shallow. Specifically in its use of fantastical elements. The fantasy part of it is paper-thin and toothless, passionless, hand-waved. All in all, I never lost the impression that this book just could not (would not?) commit; it wanted to be Literary Fiction, it wanted to be a Romance, it wanted to be a portal-fantasy, and because it couldn’t choose, it failed to be any of them successfully.

(It could have been all three. If you’re a good enough storyteller, you can choose all of the above, when someone asks you to pick a genre. I’ve seen it done! But Shaffer didn’t choose all three, she didn’t choose at all, and that’s why it was a mess.)

I think this book was supposed to coast on vibes and queer rep, but it didn’t do anything interesting with either, so???

The fantasy-land in the book (which, nothing magical happens until the 50% mark, so brace yourself for a good long wait if you do decide you want to read this) is like something you might find in a picture book; it’s not very complex, the names are silly, the villains are cartoonish both in tone and threat-level, etc. And that’s not necessarily a problem! Especially once we learn about the origin of this world (although again, you’ll be waiting a long time for that information). It’s something to be explored and thought about and discussed. The Magicians (the book, not the show so much) had adults going to not-Narnia and loving it despite/because of its…what I can only call its childishness, although that’s not really the right word, I think. It can be done. The relationship between adults and – let’s call it childish wonder is something lots of people have told stories about, across all possible mediums. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that at all.

But The Lost Story doesn’t feel like that. It’s not doing that. It’s the difference between LARPing and putting on a costume for an adult’s Halloween party; the latter is either enjoying the aesthetic of a thing or actively mocking it, generally, but either way, it’s not…engaging with it? Is that what I mean? It doesn’t care. It’s a game. A joke. Something to be wiped off like face-paint when you’re done with it, and completely forgotten, discarded, because it doesn’t matter to you.

I’m not saying that’s wrong. I am saying that if that’s your approach, you’re not going to write a great Fantasy novel.

Shaffer is playing dress-up with Fantasy, taking the aesthetic because it’s pretty and sparkly and not giving one single damn about the heart of it. Like someone dressing punk because they think it looks cool, but not even knowing about the philosophy, never mind misunderstanding or ignoring it. The result might be sparkly, but under the glitter it’s completely hollow.

Case in point: once they made it to fantasy-land, none of the adults in Lost Story minded, or even noticed, that they were basically inside a nursery rhyme. They were totally comfortable making out on a kid’s bed surrounded by fairytale-esque figures painted all over the walls. They never raised an eyebrow at the Basic^TM villains, but instead took them deadly seriously. They never commented on or thought about the place names. They never cringed.

I am anti-cringe, I hate cringe-culture, but if you put three grown-ass adults into this setting, I don’t buy that NONE of them will EVER think about how weirdly childish it all is. That all of them are unquestioningly eager to stay here forever. That they all sort of…regress to being children, in a lot of ways? Just, instantly? And none of that is explored at all, none of it seems intentional. The characters just are that way because it’s convenient. They don’t think, like we’re not supposed to think, because this story is so incredibly thin that it tears the moment you brush against it.

I have considered that this might have been purposeful; that possibly Shaffer was trying to do something or say something about how abandoning our childishness is bad, that we should embrace our inner children, something along those lines. But if that was the goal, it fell unbelievably flat. It really felt like Shaffer didn’t WANT to be telling this story: at one point, there’s a fifteen-day span that’s supposed to be filled with epic celebrations – and instead of, you know, actually writing the characters living through it, we get a couple of paragraphs summarising each day before we get to the summary of the next.

NO ONE IS FORCING YOU TO WRITE. IF YOU DON’T WANT TO WRITE IT, DON’T PUT IT IN THERE. The summaries were just…gah! Someone wanting to show off the sparkly thing, without having to put the work in of, you know, actually writing it. What the fuck??? WHY? Don’t write it at all, if you don’t want to write it! How is that hard???

The Big Gay Love Story had no passion, no real emotion in it at all. Same with the Instantly Intense relationships everyone has with Skyla – the queen of fantasy-land – when they meet her; why do they love her so much? No clue. Lost Story touches very briefly on various Serious Topics, but doesn’t bother to explore them or use them or engage with them at all. I don’t even know what to say about the whole ‘abusive dad/gay son’ thing, or View Spoiler »the redemption Shaffer gives said dad. « Hide Spoiler Why is it all so shallow? Why is it so simple and so basic?

View Spoiler »I’m not even going to go into the whole ‘magic bag’ thing. You can wish for anything you like – whether it exists or not – so long as it’ll fit in the bag, and you wish for THAT? Are you stupid??? No seriously, are you stupid??? AND it doesn’t occur to you to feel guilty or angry with yourself for using up the wish on something so dumb when things go wrong? OKAY, SURE. WHY EXPECT ANYTHING EVEN SLIGHTLY REALISTIC FROM THIS BOOK ANYWAY? « Hide Spoiler

Skip it. RUN IN THE OTHER DIRECTION. This is such a fucking waste of time for anyone looking for a Fantasy novel – instead of whatever the hells this is.

The Dollmakers by Lynn Buchanan
Genres: Adult, Fantasy, Secondary World Fantasy
PoV: Third-person, past-tense; multiple POVs
Published on: 13th August 2024
Goodreads

In this dark and enchanting stand-alone fantasy from debut author Lynn Buchanan--complete with black and white illustrations and a full-wrap illustrated cover--discover a world centered around destructive, all-consuming monsters; the magical dolls designed to fight this force; and the artisans tasked with creating demon-slaying dolls. A touch cozy fantasy and a touch horror, The Dollmakers is perfect for fans of Studio Ghibli films, the works of TJ Klune and Travis Baldree, and readers of Juniper & Thorn and The Goblin Emperor.

In the country called One, dollmakers are vital members of the community. An artisan’s doll is the height of society’s accomplishments, while a guard’s doll is the only thing standing between the people of One and the Shod: vicious, cobbled monstrosities that will tear apart any structure—living or dead, inanimate or otherwise—to add to their horde.

Apprentice Shean of Pearl is a brilliant dollmaker. With her clever dolls, she intends to outsmart and destroy the Shod, once and for all—a destiny she’s worked her whole life toward accomplishing. But when the time comes for her dolls to be licensed, she’s told her work is too beautiful and delicate to fight. A statement that wounds and infuriates her; the Shod killed everyone she loved. How could her fate be anything but fighting them?

In an attempt to help her see a new path for herself, Shean’s mentor sends her on a journey to the remote village called Web, urging her to glean some wisdom from Ikiisa, a reclusive and well-respected guard dollmaker. But Shean has another plan: if she can convince the village of Web of her talents, the Licensor Guild will have to reconsider and grant her a guard’s license. And what better way to convince them than challenging Ikiisa and instating herself as the official dollmaker of Web? Once she’s done that, proving her dolls’ worth in the fight against the Shod will be simple.

As simple, that is, as calling the Shod to Web...

I received this book for free from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.

I can see why some readers are going to love Dollmakers, but for me the reading experience was painful – and culminated in an ending I found completely maddening.

Painful, because Buchanan’s prose is constantly jarring, with clumsy rhythm and terribly awkward phrasing.

Striving in their wrong, violent way to be repaired, healed.

Ikiisa didn’t know what to do, which was why, outside of running, she hadn’t done anything yet.

his limbs had displayed the violence of trampling.

ripping through [the district] like hail through wood

Is. Is anyone going to tell Buchanan that hail doesn’t tear through wood???

the tight grip she had on Shean’s hand relentless, compelling her to run faster

If these examples don’t bother you, great! You shouldn’t have a problem with the prose. Lucky you. I honestly don’t know why I kept reading – I think I was waiting for it to get as beautiful as its cover.

Never happened.

I don’t want to talk about the plot, because it’s mostly quite predictable – long-time Fantasy readers will see the two biggest reveals coming from a mile away. But I do want to rant talk about how stupid and not-thought through the ending was, as well as how horrible the implications of the third big reveal are and how no one in the book cares.

View Spoiler »Surprise: the Shod are corrupted dolls. Bonus surprise: using the Breath Mark which brings dolls to life on a Shod causes that Shod to fall apart. But is Shean going to tell the world either of these things? No! In fact, Roque, who is on a quest to destroy all Marks, even tells Shean that Ikiisa (another dollmaker) should not be told because

{“Ah. Yes, Ikiisa is my friend–she saved me from the Shod once, many years ago. And I’m grateful to her. But Ikiisa is not so interested in finding a way to eliminate the Shod as she is in finding a place where she can protect people from the Shod. You want the Shod to disappear.”}

What in the actual fuck are you talking about? If you ASKED a dollmaker if they wanted to eliminate the Shod, of course they would be on board with that! But you’re not going to give them the chance because…they didn’t think of trying to do it themselves? Because they *checks notes* dedicated their lives to protecting people from the Shod???

Hi, are you fucking insane? What kind of reasoning is that?! What in the actual FUCK are you smoking?

{“That,” Roque said, “along with how you used the Breath Mark on the Shod, is the difference between the two of you. I think no less of Ikiisa for that difference; she’s like most of the dollmakers I’ve met. You, though, can choose to be different.”}

Sir, if you tell Ikiisa, right now, that the Breath Mark can help destroy the Shod, she will use it. Do you think she won’t??? Does Buchanan actually think this makes sense, that a normal person would nod along with Roque and think he’s correct? Because I can’t see ANY reader agreeing with this particular bit of utter nonsense.

And it’s not like Shean spontaneously thought of eliminating the Shod permanently either – she’s only thinking of it now because, now, knowing what she does about the Break Mark, it occurs to her that eliminating the Shod may be possible. But she didn’t think of it before because…she thought it was impossible. That’s where all the other dollmakers are at – they don’t know it’s possible, so they haven’t been thinking about it. Shean’s not special – she’s not even the one who thought of trying the Breath Mark on the Shod, that was the idea of one of her dolls!

Bringing us neatly to my third issue with this book: Shean’s dolls are special. They can talk, which dolls are not supposed to be able to do. They don’t want to be guard or artisan dolls, which are the only two options. They can write and theorise and reason. This surprises or outright alarms everyone who discovers it, but not one single person, including the representative of the Dollmakers’ Guild, thinks to wonder how this can be. Nobody asks Shean it she is doing something different when she makes her dolls. No one speculates. No one asks her if she knows why they’re like this. No one! Is!! Curious!!!

No big deal, their existence only upends EVERYTHING YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW about these creations your society depends on! It’s fine! Who cares???

And my final (main) problem with Dollmakers: dolls are people. They think, they have names and pronouns and thoughts and feelings, and even after Shean knows what her dolls want/were made to do? She still leaves fifty of them to be manual labour for the village.

…That’s slavery.

Am I supposed to be okay will this? Because I’m not okay with this. ESPECIALLY when the fifty dolls being handed over to do work they DO NOT WANT TO DO is presented as Shean’s penance, a big part of her growth and happy ending!

THE FUCK.

And it would have been SO EASY to make this not-a-thing: all Buchanan had to do was NOT give us a ‘chapter’ from the POV of the dolls. Until then, it was fine! I believed the spiel that dolls are not people. I had no reason not to! And then you put me in their heads. And showed me that they had thoughts and feelings and wanted things. And drove that home with the reveal that they didn’t want to be guard dolls or artisan dolls.

Why??? Am I supposed to hate The Country Called One now? Am I meant to be horrified by the treatment of dolls? Do you want me to want to burn down the Dollmakers’ Guild after that?

No. I’m clearly not, or they wouldn’t be held up as heroes still. Shean going off to be a dollmaker wouldn’t be presented as a happy ending. The problem with Dola wanting to grow up to be a dollmaker would be the slavery, not the fact that she’ll inadvertently create more Shod.

{“Apprentice?” Shean echoed. Dola nodded, beaming.

“As soon as I turn thirteen and pass the Breath Mark exams!” she said.

“That’s right,” Ikiisa said, laughing.

Shean looked from Ikiisa to Dola, smile flagging. She glanced at Roque, their conversation from yesterday like a wall between them and the rest of the world. Shean wondered if Roque always felt this…queasy. Did he understand how her happiness for Ikiisa and Dola was tempered with fear of yet another dollmaker making more dolls that would, someday, become Shod?}

I’m not supposed to think the dolls are slaves, clearly. But that’s a pretty inescapable conclusion, given the knowledge Buchanan has given me, the reader.

That is called bad fucking writing.

There’s so much else I could talk about – like the insistence that the Marks are bad, even though we’re never given any evidence that that’s true, or how Buchanan undermined Ikiisa’s entire arc by having her behave like a child throwing a tantrum when it was time for her to stand up for herself. I’d like to point out that we never learn why the Shod ripped apart all the other houses in the village, but for some reason did not do that to Ikiisa’s house (super convenient); nor is it explained how the First Dollmaker knew about the Shod before he’d died, which would have been required to make the first Shod. The Dollmakers’ Guilt has known Shod are corrupted dolls for ages, but never made any attempt to investigate or stop the process, including trying the Breath Mark on a Shod. Dolls are apparently capable of manual labour, even skilled labour, but no one has thought to replace human workers with them? I could go on, but damn it, my hands are hurting and I’ve already wasted enough time on this stupid book. « Hide Spoiler

All of this – and all the other, more minor inconsistencies and stupid things – itch like a hundred mosquito bites, and I am so freaking angry about it. Were there some very cool moments? Yes. Did it make some beautiful mind-pictures in my head? Yes. If worldbuilding that doesn’t fit together doesn’t bother you, you may very well enjoy The Dollmakers. Maybe you can enjoy the very half-assed plot, and the vague, shallow characters. But as far as I’m concerned, this was poorly written, poorly thought-out, and painful to read. I should have DNFed it, and I really think you should skip it.

Major, major fails.

Related Posts